FEAR

Why am I scared 

Of not being cared

For,of being unheard,

In this world with claws and teeth bared.

Why am I so afraid

Of the world I myself made!

Standing in it’s cool shade,

Why do I feel it will renegade!

I fear no one will come to my aid,

I hear the scary footsteps that time made,

A conniving game, both age and destiny played,

I stand helpless, agonised and betrayed.

I did dare to do many things,

Braving all the frightful stings,

In the seasons of youthful springs,

When lovely songs my heart would sing.

I won some and lost some,

As hope would bountifully come,

I knew exactly what I wanted to become,

Never was I scared or numb.

I walked ahead on my life’s journey,

Moving fast and always in a hurry,

Everything had to be done early,

Within my head there was not a worry.

How time on it’s wings flew,

And closer the end drew,

Ignorant,excited,I never knew,

That my world like before,now never grew.

Like my days my world has shrunk,

My soul and body both sunk,

Like the papers and parchments in the old trunk,

I am now nothing but mere junk.

In a corner I sit and tremble,

Not wanting to fall or stumble,

I stammer and fumble,

Fearing that everything around will crumble.

I miss the gentle hands of all my kin, 

Carrying love for them within,

My entire world they had been,

Why is wanting them near me now a sin!

I want them to hold my finger and make me walk,

To smile and laugh with me and talk,

They spend with me at least a few minutes by the clock,

And stand by me like sturdy,solid rocks.

I am an old,crazy hag,

Who blabbers and nags,

As my eyes and skin sag,

Turned into an emotion full bag.

More and more my back bends,

On them the more I depend,

Searching in them, a true friend,

I wait for the eventual end.

Why did I fail to read,

My future,as ahead I tread,

Is being alone my fate indeed,

Despite putting in my best,did I not succeed!

Has my life been a fault,as I fear?

Or is it that I do not want to let go,hold it dear,

As the end draws more near,

I want to get an answer clear.

I do not know how long I will live here,

So I want to let go of all fear,

With me,I want my near and dears to be there,

Reassured I can sleep,that I did not fail my purpose here.

-Madhumita 

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